“True love stories never have endings.” – Richard Bach. “The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.“ Thomas Merton. There are several types of love and I don’t have the space to go into all of them but I would like to mention three; conditional love, unconditional love, and the love of stuff. Unconditional is when you love others not as an act of barter or for what they do, how they act or what they believe etc. but because of who they are – period. Conditional love is when you love others for – when or how they behave, what they do that meets with your approval, acceptance, or because it’s what you need or wants from them. Stuff love is when you love; good wine, a day at the beach, watching your favorite sports team, your car – get it – stuff love is not love but the need for attachment, pleasure, control, or some other emotional striving or need. Then there is “being in love”. This is an entirely different topic that requires more than a brief overview. PS: If you want to read more on this one, it is one of my most popular articles on the internet on hundreds of sites – “The difference between loving someone and being in love with them.” If you want the article, let me know and I will send it to you.
“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” Eleanor Roosevelt. “The price of greatness is responsibility.” Winston Churchill. We are responsible to people but not to them. That includes children, customers, employees, spouses, friends, etc. What am I implying here? I’ll give you two examples; I raised three kids. I was responsible to; support them, love them, guide them, educate them, etc. but if they decided to become druggies, alcoholics, vagabonds, or prostitutes I am not responsible for them. When you take the responsibility for others you are now the center of their blame, regret, anger, etc. I am responsible to my client’s audiences to share information that will help them manage better, sell more, have more fun, etc. but if they choose not to implement, apply or integrate any of the ideas, techniques, or material I share I am not responsible for the poor outcomes or results. The more you help people become dependent the less you help them over the long term. Please, In this concept, I’m not referring to the elderly or the mentally or physically incapable. So. Feeling responsible for someone? How is it working? For them? For you?
“Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as, by the way, your mind looks at what happens.” Khalil Gibran. Know anyone who exercised every day, ate properly, never smoked, etc., and died at a young age? I do – several. Know anyone who worked hard saved well, spent wisely, and suddenly lost everything including their self-respect? Again, I have known a few folks that this describes. What’s your point, Tim? Nothing is secure, not your finances, your health, your longevity, your relationships, or your life in general. Life, any part of it can change in a heartbeat, I know it has for me on a few occasions. Did I see this stuff coming? No. Did I deserve it? I don’t believe so. Could I have avoided it? No. How about you, what areas of your life do you feel secure? Plenty of money in the bank? Your last physical was 100% successful? You renewed your marriage vows recently? Your kids are all healthy and doing well? Need I go on? Security is not on the outside of you but the inside. Be careful not to get too attached to anything in life that you can’t control. . .