Words of wisdom for this week.
“Discontent is the first step in progress. No one knows what is in him till he tries, and many would never try if they were not forced to.”
~ Basil Maturin
Looking for the love of your life or soul mate? Want to improve a current relationship? Here are the five steps that you should follow if you want to find or maintain an enduring nurturing and successful relationship.
- Find the right person. You can use dating websites, nightly prowl the available bars and clubs, attend networking events, or just hope that the right person pops into your life at just the right time. This approach can yield dozens, if not hundreds, of possible candidates. But if you use only this step, you will find sooner or later that this is not enough to find Mr. or Ms. Right.
- Connect with a certain few. It’s called chemistry, attraction, or magnetism. This will always be based on your personal history, mental and emotional filters, and physical desires. Connection is important, but you will never build a lasting relationship on chemistry only. It is necessary, but it will fade over time if allowed to, and what will you be left with then?
- Select the best candidates for a love partnership. Everyone has a conscious or unconscious “list” of ideal traits, behaviors, requirements, desires, or beliefs that they are looking for or even insist on. Many people have any number of “deal breakers” that, when not satisfied, will cause them to end a relationship quickly. Many people will use the lack of any of these deal breakers to eliminate a potential long-term partner. This selection process is nothing more than narrowing the field of relationship candidates by some kind of emotional, physical, or attitudinal template to determine if someone is to make the cut and move to the next stage of the relationship.
- Discover who the other person really is. This step is vital if a relationship is to survive and make it to the next and final level of lasting and rewarding love. Discovery is learning who the other person “really is”; their judgments, fears, stressors, dreams, frustrations, negative traits, expectations, hopes, failures, mistakes, and so much more when it comes to the critical life areas and relationship issues that will sooner or later ruin or strengthen a relationship.
- Grow together. This is the final stage in enduring and rewarding relationships. People will usually make it to this stage if they have accurately, successfully, and adequately covered the previous four steps. No, there are no guarantees that any relationship will last forever… or even for years. Life happens. But if you spend sufficient time in the discovery step, you will ensure that your chances for success will beat the odds. Failure to follow this process will almost guarantee a relationship filled with stress, frustration, anxiety, disappointment, and even resentment.
So, there you have it… and the choice is yours: Follow these guidelines and avoid the pain of failed relationships – or – continue to follow the path of looking for someone with whom you have a lot in common in the shallow areas of life.