“Happiness is when I see others happy.” Desmond Tutu. Happiness is not a goal. It is a reaction to life events. OK so you think money, or love, or travel make you happy. If this were true everyone who had these would be happy but that is not what research proves. These things do not bring them happiness. Happiness is what you bring to life events not the outcome of life events. Two quick examples. Your favorite team just lost a major game, so you are unhappy. Or they won so you are happy. What about the opposites? People who brought a sense of the mindset of happiness to the game and they didn’t allow the outcome to change their disposition. The second example – is divorce. It causes some people to experience it to spend years in mourning or pain while others live with joy and happiness because of it. Let me repeat it’s not what is happening in your life that brings you happiness – it’s what you bring to the people or events. If you are not happy in some area of your life getting more of that will not bring you more happiness. Far too many people today are blaming others for their lack of happiness. If you are unhappy – start spending more time looking in the mirror.
“It is what we make out of what we have, not what we are given, that separates one person from another.” Nelson Mandela. The more you help some people the less you help them. I’m not talking here about compassion, generosity, or just helping some people in need for any number of reasons. Yes, some people in certain circumstances deserve or need our help but my question is – is your help keeping them from learning how to help themselves? People with certain government help tend to stay there forever and why – they start to believe that no matter their circumstances they deserve this support. Keep paying for your kids’ bills when they are in their twenties and guess what – you might be still paying them when you are in your sixties. If you have ever read the essay by Emerson called “The Law of Compensation” I highly recommend you read it again. It may give a new and/or better understanding of what we have, why we have it, what we give to others, and why. It’s called; effort, courage, persistence, not quitting or giving up, paying it forward and so much more. In the end, when life is over, as we look in the mirror for the last time – will we accept – we were here, we were good or bad, successful or failure because of whom we became in life and how we handled life’s circumstances, challenges and time or blame others & regret?