Words of wisdom for this week.
“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr
Disappointment in life is directly related to your expectations. When you want something, expect to have it, achieve it or experience it and it doesn’t become a reality, you feel let down, upset and/or disappointed. Why do people set themselves up for disappointment by creating mental expectations for some result that may be in the control of others: parents, a spouse, a company, a boss or a friend?
It is often natural and/or normal to want something you don’t have. To desire to achieve something you have yet to accomplish. To accomplish some task or enjoy some special status, recognition or power. It is not natural, however, to get everything you want in life. You can have almost anything you want – if you are willing to pay the necessary price (both short and long term) for it. But you can’t have everything you want! It’s just not that kind of world. Disappointment is a part of life.
When you were young, if you were not permitted by your parents or caregivers to be disappointed, I guarantee that sooner or later you will experience a truth life wants you to learn – everyone experiences disappointment at some point (and some people more often than others). No one is immune. You cannot escape it; you can only learn to manage it.
Since disappointment is directly related to your expectations, what can you do to ensure that you are disappointed less in your life? You can:
- Balance you optimism with your realism as you manage your expectations.
- Accept the simple fact that you won’t get everything in life you want.
- Learn to enjoy what you have and feel gratitude for having it.
- Accept the simple truth that sooner or later everyone will disappoint you.
- Try to determine another person’s real intent before getting set up.
- Believe that life happens. Doesn’t mean you have to see yourself as a victim.
- Accept that you are in charge of your reactions, behaviors, feelings etc – no one or nothing else is unless you give them or it that power.
- Understand that people make mistakes; they are not perfect (this includes you).
- Know that outcomes are directly related to attitudes and behaviors. Don’t like the outcomes? Guess what?
- Believe that we are all a work in progress.