We all know people who are fine ladies or gents. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We accept the good with the less so when it comes to friendship. In fact, we accept imperfection in everyone; ourselves, our co-workers, our loves, family, etc.
There are fair weather friends, and there are friends who tell you only what they think you want to hear. These – in a different era – we may have called acquaintances, colleagues or some more generic term than the hallowed name of a ‘friend.’ Because a true friend cares about YOU.
People that care about you are capable of politely and/or clearly speaking the truth.
From time to time, I may say to someone ‘friends don’t let friends drive drunk.’ The person I’m addressing or speaking to may not have a drink in their hands, they may not be at a party, there may not be alcohol or other intoxicants anywhere in sight.
So what the heck does it mean when I say, ‘friends don’t let friends drive drunk’ and no drinking is involved?
Simply this. A friend tells their friend the truth, even if it is not easy. The truth may be, your drunk, don’t drive. The truth may be as serious, but have nothing to do with drinking. Some examples may make the point:
My friend, you are losing more customers than you are gaining. Here is why…
My friend, you are depressed. What is going on? Don’t you realize all the good things you have going for you?
My friend, that onion and garlic at lunch didn’t do your breath any good. Here, have a piece of chewing gum.
We all have blind spots, it is inevitable. What others spot it in a moment, you or I may need to know. But not everyone CARES enough to tell the person the truth. A true friend, does.
A friend can tell you the truth, and even if it is uncomfortable for both, the friend so addressed should consider the advice and accept the truth. Both win when the truth is thoughtfully shared and accepted.
There are times and places and ways to share the truth, of course.
1. The first level, is privately. One on one.
2. The next level is with another friend or associate involved.
3. Sometimes, the statement has to be made publicly.
The last is the hardest. But depending on the issue, it may be critically important to do so.
John, I know you are tired, which may be why your numbers are off in this report. Would you fix this and get it back to us, please?
Jane, you’ve done a lot of great work recently, and I want to thank you for it. This particular item doesn’t hit your normal standards. Here is why, would you fix it and get back to us with it please?
Sometimes, we may miss the ’empathy cushions’ in our statements, but the issue may be so important that we still have to get the truth out.
Even if an enemy were in a drunken stupor, and they were about to drive off, what would you do?
If there were no chemicals or alcohol involved, but someone was making a serious mistake that you might help with, what would you do?
Please consider this answer: “Friends don’t let Friend’s Drive Drunk” # #
post submitted by
L. A. “Tony” Kovach