“The road uphill and the road downhill are both the same.” Heraclitus. Ever had a good day? A bad one? One somewhere in the middle? I’ll wager that regardless of your definition of your day that your answer has more to do with how you chose to define or interpret what was happening during your day rather than what was happening? Let me explain – every day you wake up the process is the same, some good stuff, some bad stuff, some great stuff, some terrible stuff, and some routine stuff. Folks . . . it’s all stuff and you were fortunate to have it unless you would prefer the other option – no stuff. And why – because you didn’t wake up that day. You are reading this – it’s a good day. You have two options each day – let your day and its circumstances determine how you define your day or you define your day regardless of the circumstances.
“The aim of an argument should be progress, not victory.” Joseph Joubert. If you have never had an argument or disagreement with anyone you are more than likely an Alien that recently landed on Earth. Disagreements are normal in all relationships sooner or later or often depending on the quality of the relationship. What is an argument anyway? Simple – when you disagree with someone on any topic and attempt to prove they are wrong and you are right and they try to prove that they are right and you are wrong. There is another way to define an argument or disagreement and potentially even disarm it in advance. How – see differences in opinion as a trigger to reevaluate your position on any topic or to learn that there might be another unique, not wrong, way to see the topic or to understand it. I recall many years ago having a conversation with a good friend when he asked me – “Tim, what’s your opinion on reincarnation?” My answer at the time was, “I don’t believe in that hocus pocus.” His response, “tell me what you know about it.” Me – “I don’t know much I just know I don’t believe in it.” He answers, “How can you have such a strong opinion about something you don’t know anything about?” WOW – you got me.
“Men build too many walls and not enough bridges.” Sir Isaac Newton. As we begin a new year why not look back over the months or years at relationships that for some reason have ended or declined in some way for some reason. People come and go in our lives; friends, customers, fellow employees even family but as we head towards a new chapter a simple question – have you done all you could with your current or past relationships to keep them open, engaging, respectful, supportive and/or even fun? Relationships are not easy even during peaceful times and they are harder in an environment like we all have experienced the past couple of years. So, let’s not focus on the past and think more about the future and what we can do, are willing to do, etc. to grow, build or create new, positive and lasting relationships. This is a topic I have no right to preach on as I have been guilty often of not doing enough to do my part in many relationships and for that, I must live with the regret of loss. But, why continue in the months and years ahead with the same outcomes if you have been even a little guilty of failing to do your part. None of us will ever agree on everything. None of us know everything about the people in our lives. But what we do know is what they want us to know and what they know about us is what we are willing to share with them. Let’s all do our part this year to heal, share and grow our current and future relationships with compassion, understanding, interest, support, and kindness.