Words of wisdom for this week.
“A friend is a present you give yourself.” ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
Having a support system can have tremendous advantages when you are attempting to let go of anything, struggling through a valley or dealing with an ending or new beginning. A support system can be a partner, spouse, a relative, a friend, a co-worker or any combination. But don’t assume that a relative or spouse will be a good support system as they may from time to time let you down and not be there when or how you need them. We don’t live life in a vacuum. We need people to help us during emotionally challenging times in our life when we just can’t seem to face or overcome situations alone.
There is nothing wrong with turning to others when you need help. Yes, some battles must be fought alone without any guidance or support from others but in the end having someone you can count on to be there for you can make the difference between success and failure.
It is critical that anyone or any group you use to support your letting go is not judgmental, critical or invalidating. What you need during these times is encouragement, accountability, support and someone who will listen. You need to be straightforward with these people and not misleading when it comes to your fears, frustrations, needs and weaknesses.
What’s the role or responsibility of a support system? These can depend on the relationship you have with them. If you are facing relationship issues with a spouse sometimes a good friend is all you need but in the end, if a support system is to help you through any difficulties there are a few things they can do and some they can’t.
A support system can or should;
- Allow you to go through the cathartic process sharing fears, frustrations without counsel, advice, judgment, criticism or admonishment. They just listen and help you self-discover from the ‘inside-out’ what is missing, needs to happen or you need to do.
- Guide you through a valley using their personal experiences to help you see your personal situations more clearly.
- Offer feedback, advice or counsel if it is requested. But remember we are all on our separate path through life dealing with our own personal demons, struggles and challenges.
- Give you their emotional support, time and honest reactions to what you are willing to share.
A support system can’t or shouldn’t;
- Do your personal work for you.
- Tell you what to do or how to handle something.
- Enable you. All growth is personal and depends on where we are and where we are heading in life.
If you have a support system, congratulations. If you don’t, you may want to start to cultivate one because sooner or later you will need the guidance, acceptance, feedback and help they can give you.