Selfishness vs. selflessness

Words of wisdom for this week.

“You can never get enough of what you need to make you happy.”
~ Eric Hoffer

I don’t know how the ‘professionals’ would define either of the above terms. I can only tell you that, from my perspective, when you give of yourself there is more joy, satisfaction and peace than when you give of your ‘stuff’ or hoard either for yourself.

My definition of selfishness is when a person is only concerned about their personal tomorrows. These people lack faith in themselves, God, and others to give them what they need (not what they want) in the future. Therefore, these people must guard every cent and every emotion with the concern that their emotional or financial bank account may run dry in the future.

Selflessness is when you give of yourself – your support, guidance, love, time, ideas, and encouragement – without a concern for the expectations, demands, needs, or desires of others. These people do not give to get, but just to give. They find their rewards not in the giving, but in the development of who they are and who they are becoming.

During my life, I have had the good fortune to meet and come to know many people who are selfless in their giving. I have also known many who would not give you a nickel or a minute for fear it would bankrupt their emotional or financial bank accounts.

I’ll bet you, too, have met many of both kinds of these people. I ask you, who do you want in your life? Who would you be willing to defend? Who would you like to spend more time with? Who has nourished your soul and contributed to your growth?

Now the critical question. Which of the two defines you and your approach to life and others?

If you lack any sense of satisfaction in your life, you might want to take stock of how much of yourself you are contributing to others and the world – unconditionally – without a concern for what you will receive from these people or life.

Trust, patience and letting go of expectations are hard lessons to learn – believe me, I know. But, if you can learn to trust the process of your life as it is unfolding day by day, you will be amazed at how whatever you need will appear at the right time – not your time, but the right time.

Your partner is in your life for a reason. He/she may be a wonderful companion, great sex partner, may provide you with financial or emotional security, or any number of other relationship benefits. But, in the end, he/she is with you to help you see more clearly who you are and who you are becoming. Don’t underestimate the power of this self-discovery. And – be sure and thank your partner from time to time for the willingness to be your teacher.