Weekly TimBit – Stuck in destructive patterns?
Most people go through life in auto-pilot. In other words most of their; actions, behavior and decisions tend to be automatic based on previous behavior, entrenched mindsets, ingrained habits, early conditioning and reactions to previous circumstances therefore – experiences.
In many ways many of these actions can save us a great deal of time, energy and often resources for example – the route you follow to work each day, how long you spend in the shower, where you go for lunch and whether you read or watch the news every day.
From a career perspective these could include – when and how you plan, review your day, how frequently you check email and which calls you answer on your cell phone as the day passes.
Each person has hundreds of routines or life patterns that they are totally unaware of and are generally unconscious – they just move through their day from one activity to the next – one action to the next. A simple example is observe the way you dress every morning – I'll guarantee you put the same shoe on – right or left – every morning. Why, it makes life easier. If you had to think every minute of every day about many of these simple and routine actions it would take you forever to get dressed and get to work.
Some people use their free time to read while others watch television. Some people exercise at the same time every day and daily – do many of the same activities like praying, planning or setting goals while others spend a great deal of mental time worrying or fretting over yesterday or tomorrow.
In the end your routines in general either move you forward in life towards greater success, happiness and contentment or the opposite.
How you use your mental functions in the end, contributes to the overall quality of your life. Use your brain and thoughts as a positive tool and you will sooner or later receive positive outcomes. Use it as a negative tool and you will experience a great deal of stress, frustration, anxiety and disappointment.
The brain is a wonderful tool and when used properly you will be amazed at what you can accomplish. Fail to use its capabilities and you will, over time, discover that life just isn't turning out the way you would like.
Routines and habits can be a positive tool to save time and manage your moments – one at a time, but they can also cause you to waste time and resources.
There are four tools, actions or behaviors – you can use if you want to ensure that your routines and patterns are contributing to success rather than continued disappointment.
They are simply – attention, awareness, focus and action.
Attention – To get out of auto-pilot – and keep in mind this isn't always a negative activity – you have to put your attention on the now. You have to train your mind to stay in the present moment one moment at a time. This for most people is a very difficult task as their mind over time has been taught to focus on the past or the future. To give yourself the opportunity to stay in the present you need to develop new routines that allow you to mentally stop focusing on the past or the future. One routine I use is to keep a simple marble in my pocket. It represents "NOW". Whether I feel it when I sit down or put my hand in my pocket – it's a constant reminder to pay attention to NOW. Over time I don't need to do either as I have formed the mental reminder that this item is in my pocket. Simple? Stupid? Well, it works for me. It keeps my attention focused on now and not yesterday, tomorrow or what happened 5 minutes ago.
Awareness – Once you have trained yourself to pay attention, it's now necessary to create a positive awareness. This can often be accomplished by learning or forming the simple habit of asking yourself simple questions. Like; what's happening now? Why is it happening? What can I learn form this? Etc. These questions will tend to help you use your attention and awareness in a positive way.
Focus – Focus is similar to awareness with one exception – it is a decision to concentrate on what you choose to think about. All emotions are caused by thoughts. First a thought then the emotion. Someone says something that makes you angry. You first think about what they said – then you react emotionally. Focus is simply saying to yourself – I have a choice. I can choose my emotional response. I can get angry or I can choose to not let this person push my emotional buttons.
Action – And finally action. To pay attention, create awareness and then focus and not act is to waste the first three of these behaviors. Actions, regardless of what action you choose, when done from a mindset of attention and awareness will tend to be more in line with your objectives and goals than turning your life over to others or circumstances.
Action is required to create the outcomes you say you want but your actions must be conscious and not knee-jerk responses. Taking the right or best action seems to be a problem for many people as they tend to let others or circumstances drive their behavior, attitudes and life in general. It's what I refer to as activity. There is wrong activity, activity in general just to keep busy and then the right activity. Which, in the end do you feel will move you forward rather than backward or keep you stuck?
Make it a great week and a tremendous year, In His service, Tim